The most important thing is to find out the most important thing.
Shunryū Suzuki

Chapter One: Three Levels of Love

The world is a contradiction; the universe a paradox.
Kedar Joshi

At the heart of human inquiry lies an ancient and persistent question: “What is essential?” This question echoes across cultures, philosophies, and generations, prompting us to consider the bedrock of our values, priorities, and existence. It encourages us to delve beneath the surface, peel back life’s layers, and uncover what truly matters. At the core of this quest, we consistently find one constant: love. Love, the most enduring and transformative force in human experience, beckons us to look inward for personal growth and outward to enrich our relationships, communities, and connection to the world. It weaves through all forms of our existence, shaping who we are and aspire to become.

Discerning what is essential in a world saturated with information is both a practical skill and a philosophical endeavor, as identifying what truly matters brings clarity and purpose in an age of endless choices and distractions. What is essential varies and is shaped by individual, community, and cultural needs—from basic survival like food and shelter to higher pursuits such as creativity, belonging, and realizing one’s potential. Among these essentials, however, love stands out. It transcends personal and cultural boundaries as a universal foundation underpinning familial ties, friendships, romantic relationships, and a zest for life. Love is not merely an experience but the heartbeat of our existence.

Love is an emotion and a dynamic force that motivates, sustains, and transforms. It influences our decisions, strengthens our relationships, and fuels our accomplishments. By exploring love in this chapter, we gain deeper insights into how love supports us in adversity and inspires us to seek fulfillment and transformation.

As we delve into understanding love, we encounter puzzles that mirror the paradoxical nature of existence. These universal paradoxes, like love, resist simple explanations. Love defies easy categorization, akin to attempting to see the back of our heads without a mirror. The tools we use to grasp it are part of the system we try to observe. Much like the universe, love invites us to embrace complexity and uncertainty, reflecting the interconnected nature of all things.

Consider the classic paradox of the chicken and the egg: “Which came first?” This question explores the circularity of existence, where each element relies on the other, creating a loop without a clear start or end. Love often behaves similarly; it is not linear but cyclical.

Similarly, the wave-particle duality of light from quantum physics demonstrates how light can exhibit behaviors of both waves and particles, depending on observation. This duality challenges our fundamental assumptions about reality, as light does not fit neatly into one category. Similarly, love exists in multiple states simultaneously, demanding that we accept seemingly contradictory truths. It embodies both strength and vulnerability, independence and intimacy, sacrifice and joy—all at once. Relationships flourish not by resolving these dualities but by learning to live with them.

The puzzles we encounter in science, philosophy, and everyday life underscore the natural limits of our understanding. These mysteries encourage us to marvel at the intricate design of the cosmic web we are part of. Just as the universe presents endless mysteries to unravel, love challenges us to expand beyond our current comprehension.

Engaging with the complexities of love reveals that these challenges are not obstacles to be overcome but gateways to deeper understanding. The most illuminating truths often emerge from embracing the unknown. The paradoxes of love are invitations to advance, urging us to engage with life’s uncertainties and move toward greater wisdom and connection.

In formal logic, a contradiction is the signal of defeat, but in the evolution of real knowledge it marks the first step in progress toward a victory.
Alfred North Whitehead

This chapter serves as a roadmap through the evolving nature of love, guiding us to explore its transformative journey that influences how we relate to and grow within the world. Just as cosmic puzzles teach us about the complexity of reality, love illuminates our path toward a greater understanding of ourselves and others.

Through this exploration, we uncover the mysteries of love—its paradoxes, dualities, and transformative power. The journey through love reveals its role as an enigma and an essential force. In subsequent chapters, we will gain new insights into how love guides us through life’s complexities and inspires us to become whole versions of ourselves.

The Ultimate Paradox

How wonderful that we have met with a paradox. Now we have some hope of making progress.
Niels Bohr

Want to know the biggest secret? You already know it. It’s a profound truth that feels both surprising and familiar. As we strive to understand the essence of existence, we grapple with the great mystery: what would comprehensively explain the nature, function, and purpose of the universe?

At the intersection of philosophy, science, and spirituality, we dive into the mysteries of the void and the universe’s beginning. Even our most significant scientific theories, like quantum mechanics and string theory, face challenges and limits. Trying to combine all the universe’s fundamental forces leads physicists into conflicts, especially when blending general relativity with quantum mechanics. With every advance in our understanding, we encounter more complexities that stretch our thinking and challenge us to reconsider the nature of reality.

The deeper our questions go, the bigger the paradoxes they bring, pushing our thinking and language to the limit. These questions challenge us to do what seems impossible: step outside our usual boundaries and gain almost unreachable insights. What if the solution to these big mysteries is so simple that we’ve missed it? This suggests that the answers to the universe’s greatest mysteries might not be hidden in unknown depths, but in a fundamental truth we’ve already seen but not fully understood.

Think about how Einstein’s theory of relativity changed our view of time and space, showing them as dynamic parts of a more significant concept called space-time. This central insight came from looking at well-known ideas in a new way, showing that substantial discoveries often come from seeing the familiar differently. The idea that the answer to the biggest question is distinctly before us challenges our ideas about truth and how to find it.

As we think about this ultimate paradox, our journey naturally moves into the phase of a philosophical theory of everything. This new step combines different aspects of our understanding into one complete picture, offering insights that connect philosophy, science, and religion-spirituality. Through this broad framework, we strive to create a full view of reality, driven by the paradoxes and questions that have pushed us so far, encouraging us to rethink our beliefs and imagine new possibilities.

The correct theory of everything doesn’t come out of nowhere. It covers everything and thus resonates. Love is the answer we most inherently understand. It binds us to one another, fuels our passions, and drives our actions. Recognizing love as the answer to the theory of everything uncovers a thoughtful truth: the essence of life and the universe lies in the most straightforward yet powerful human experiences.

Working this paradox backward, we see that the complexity and depth of the universe are mirrored in the complexity and depth of love. Love is present in the most minor interactions and the grandest circumstances, in the way we nurture relationships and in the way we strive to understand the world. It is a personal experience and a universal constant, making it the ultimate answer to the most significant philosophical question.

Thus, the paradox resolves itself most elegantly. The ultimate truth, the answer to the theory of everything, is something we have always known deep within ourselves. Love, our most significant concern and the core of our existence, encompasses all aspects of life and the cosmos. It is the simplest and the most illuminating answer.

Philosophical Theory of Everything

Even if there is only one possible unified theory, it is just a set of rules and equations. What is it that breathes fire into the equations and makes a universe for them to describe?
Stephen Hawking

The idea of a philosophical theory of everything is fascinating not just because of its ambitious goal but also due to the vastness of its mission. It suggests a framework meant to answer the most important questions about existence, purpose, and the nature of reality. Going beyond the usual areas of philosophy, this theory seeks to surpass traditional limits. Its goal is to combine different kinds of human thought, experiences, and knowledge into one complete story. This challenging task hopes to explain everything from the complex workings of the universe to the finer points of human consciousness, social forces, and our most intense questions about existence.

The appeal of such a theory is in its promise to provide a complete view that resolves contradictions and fills the gaps in our understanding. It aims to capture the essence of what it means to be and to explain how things are, offering a lens through which we can understand our past, grasp our present, and foresee our future. With humanity’s natural desire to find meaning and our ongoing effort to decode life’s mysteries, a unifying theory that tackles the most significant questions holds great importance. It transcends science, religion, art, and more, giving new insights and viewpoints.

Yet, developing a philosophical theory of everything comes with significant challenges. These include the natural limits of human thinking, the difficult task of blending different types of knowledge into a consistent story, and the risk that such a broad theory might lose detail for coverage. Moreover, the personal nature of understanding and the range of opinions in philosophy and other fields must be clarified. This leads to a crucial question: can any theory truly resonate with and be accepted by everyone?

Standing at the height of intellectual pursuit, a philosophical theory of everything starts a daring attempt to cover all aspects of existence and understanding in one story. It taps into our most thoughtful curiosity and addresses our most pressing questions, aiming to find a unified wisdom that helps us navigate life’s complexities with clarity and direction.

As we explore this exciting idea, our journey naturally moves toward a related but different discussion: the idea that value is essentially everything. Expanding on the philosophical theory of everything, this discussion focuses on how values play a role in how we see the universe and our place in it. Here, “value” means ethical considerations and the worth of all parts of existence, prompting us to think about how values shape our views, choices, and ultimate importance in our lives and the universe. This extension deepens our intellectual exploration, inviting us to closely examine how values are tied to the essence of reality and our understanding of it.

Focusing on the Essential

Ultimately, love is everything.
M. Scott Peck

The question “What is everything?” powerfully expresses our innate curiosity about the vastness and complexity of the universe. It’s not merely an attempt to list everything in the cosmos, from the tiniest particles to the grandest reaches of space. It’s a quest to uncover what is essential or most important in our expansive world.

In our daily lives, filled with endless information, experiences, and decisions, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. We naturally want to grasp the big picture in all this chaos, recognizing that not everything is equally important. For example, certain key historical events act as launching points for future events, just like critical life choices can have long-lasting effects. “What is everything?” aims to pinpoint what is crucial, necessary, and at the heart of any issue or system, helping us tell essential truths from the usual clutter.

Throughout history, various philosophical traditions have suggested a more reflective, fundamental truth or essence beneath the world’s surface complexity and seeming disorder. This core principle, whether called God, the laws of science, Mother Nature, or, in modern terms, the theory of everything, indicates unity and importance beneath the world’s complexities. Thus, asking, “What is everything?” connects us with a long-standing search to find what is essential and transcendent across science, spirituality, and everyday life.

“What is everything?” may seem like a broad existential question, but it is a practical tool for discerning what’s essential. It acts as a prism, filtering out the unnecessary and focusing on the parts with true and lasting value.

Metagapism

One day, a young seeker came to the banks of a wide river on his journey home. Staring hopelessly at the significant obstacle before him, he pondered how to cross such a wide barrier for hours. Just as he was about to give up his pursuit to continue his journey, he saw a great teacher on the other side of the river. The young man yelled to the teacher, “Oh, wise one, can you tell me how to get to the other side of this river?”

The teacher ponders momentarily, looks up and down the river, and replies, “My son, you are on the other side.”
Unknown

Metagapism is the belief that comprehensive love is the ultimate reality, the source, nature, and destiny of all things, and the theory of everything. It is pronounced met-Ah-gah-pay-is-m or met-uh-GAPE-is-m. The term combines meta-, meaning beyond, with agape, which refers to unconditional, spiritual love, and -ism, denoting a belief system. First coined by the author in 2011, metagapism presents a holistic view, proposing comprehensive love as the philosophical theory of everything—the essential cause and explanation of existence. This theory seeks to unify our understanding of reality, challenging traditional perceptions of love and intellectual inquiry. It addresses the deep human need for a coherent understanding of the cosmos, suggesting that love underpins everything from individual consciousness to societal structures, extending throughout nature. This idea holds a universal appeal, resonating deeply across cultures and philosophies.

At its core, metagapism views love as the primary driving force behind everything, influencing the details of daily life and emotions and the grand designs of the universe’s most intricate structures and deep mysteries. It presents a compelling paradox: love is, at once, the most familiar concept—an emotion or force felt by everyone—and yet remains deeply mysterious, with its full impact and scope largely unrecognized. While many believe they understand love, metagapism suggests a far more expansive and intricate view, constantly pushing us to broaden our perspective.

By positioning love as the ultimate theory of everything, metagapism moves beyond considering love merely as an emotional or psychological phenomenon. Instead, it elevates love to a metaphysical or spiritual dimension, aiming to deepen our understanding of human relationships and motivations and illuminate reality. If every interaction, particle, and moment in time is an expression or result of love, metagapism provides a framework that integrates philosophy, science, and spirituality. It becomes the lens through which all theories and facts are interpreted, forming both the foundation and pinnacle of human understanding and experience.

He who would know the secret of both worlds,
Will find the secret of them both, is Love.
Attar of Nishapur

Metagapism makes a strong case for itself as the ultimate theory by promoting the idea of comprehensive love as the vital truth that ties everything together. It asks us to see love as a feeling and a fundamental principle linking knowledge and experience. Thus, metagapism is both a significant puzzle and a new way to explore, presenting a new way to look at and understand the entirety of existence.

Traditional Love

Human behavior flows from three sources: desire, emotion, and knowledge.
Plato

Before we delve into the Three Levels of Love, a concept that will help us understand the big picture, we must examine how philosophers, poets, and thinkers have perceived love throughout history. Love is a complex and multifaceted concept interpreted, defined, and expressed in numerous ways.

Historically, experts from various fields have tried to explain love, pointing out its many sides. For instance, the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language describes love as a “deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.” But this definition only scratches the surface of what love means.

The ancient Greeks, known for deep thinking, didn’t see love as just one thing but identified several types, such as eros, philia, and agape, representing different parts of human experience. Eros is seen as a passionate love, not just in romantic relationships but also in intense interests and pursuits. It’s crucial to separate eros from other types like ludus, which is playful affection without deep emotional ties; mania, which is an obsessive desire; and philautia, or self-love, which can turn into narcissism if it goes too far.

Philia is the love in friendships, marked by genuine affection and loyalty. It prioritizes the happiness and well-being of others. There are also variations within philia, like storge, the natural, instinctual bond between parents and children, and pragma, a practical, long-lasting connection.

Agape is about selfless, unconditional love that often has divine or spiritual significance. It involves caring for others’ well-being without expecting anything in return. Ideas vaguely similar to agape are xenia, which is about hospitality based on social norms rather than genuine affection, and ataraxia, a state of peace that, while calm, lacks the deep connection or awareness found in true love.

The classical categories of love—eros, philia, and agape—provide a basic framework for understanding the different aspects of love in human feelings and relationships. These distinctions help us explore a more significant theory of love, offering a starting point for exploring the richness and complexity of love in all its forms.

Natural Love

Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns
It calls me on and on across the universe…
John Lennon

The Three Levels of Love reveal a surprising perspective: love extends beyond human emotion or personal relationships, permeating every aspect of reality. This fundamental force influences our thoughts and actions and connects everything, from the minutiae of daily interactions to the vast expanse of the cosmos. Love manifests in all, from the smallest particles to the limitless space, establishing it as a universal principle woven into the fabric of nature itself.

This concept stretches across all kinds of relationships—romantic, friendly, and even how we treat ourselves. It encourages self-love, empathy, compassion, and a solid commitment to what we are passionate about. Love is the driving force behind our decisions, helping us make ethical choices, strengthening our connections, and even making sense of life’s challenging moments as times when love is overlooked or distorted. This new perspective allows us to see human conflicts, struggles, and the complex mix of feelings and experiences that shape our lives in a different light.

In society, comprehensive love is essential for bringing people together. It pushes for laws, policies, and community structures based on fairness, justice, and mutual respect. Every effort to better society is seen as a display of this all-encompassing love, striving to mend the flaws and injustices in our communities.

In the universe, comprehensive love is portrayed as the primal force behind the creation of life, stars, and planets and even influences the laws of physics. The universe’s evolution toward greater complexity and consciousness shows this ever-present love.

Comprehensive love is crucial in every aspect of existence. It affects individual behaviors and plays a significant role in shaping societies’ functions. Love is the glue that holds the universe together. Promoting a worldview centered around love provides a comprehensive and insightful way to understand the complexities of life and nature. It is the fundamental force that permeates everything.

Three Levels of Love

It is love alone that gives worth to all things.
St. Teresa of Avila

The Three Levels of Love offers an essential framework for understanding this complex emotion’s role across different dimensions of human experience. These levels—Attraction, Submission, and Connection—encompass various aspects of love, from personal to universal. They are crucial in studying metagapism, a theory of everything rooted in the idea of comprehensive love, and demonstrate the interdisciplinary nature of the topic.

The first level, Attraction, relates to love driven by eros, aesthetics, and positivity. This form of love is often the initial spark that draws individuals together. It is the aesthetic appreciation of beauty in art, nature, or another person. Attraction is about the positive emotions that arise from sensory and emotional experiences that please us, captivate our attention, and stimulate our desire for connection. In a philosophical context, this can be seen as appreciating “the good” in its most immediate form.

Submission, the second level, aligns with philia, ethics, and negation. Unlike the spontaneous nature of Attraction, Submission involves a deliberate choice to prioritize others’ needs and desires, sometimes above one’s own. This level of love is reflective, involving the ethical considerations of relationships and the negation of the self in favor of communal and relational harmony. It is deeply embedded in the philosophical tradition of ethics, where the welfare of the other is considered as significant as, if not more, than one’s own.

The final level, Connection, relates to agape, metaphysics, and equality. This level of love transcends the personal and enters the realm of universal love. It reflects a profound connection with other individuals, the universe, and its fundamental nature. Connection speaks to the metaphysical understanding of equality and the interconnectedness of all things, which is a central tenet in many spiritual and religious traditions and scientific perspectives that emphasize the interconnectedness of the natural world.

In delving into love’s complex nature, the Three Levels of Love—Attraction, Submission, and Connection—provide a critical framework for understanding how this transforming emotion influences various dimensions of human and universal experience. Fueled by eros, aesthetics, and positivity, Attraction marks the beginning of the love experience, characterized by an appreciation of beauty and adding positivity. As we delve deeper, Submission, steered by philia and ethical considerations, entails a deliberate choice to prioritize the well-being of others, thereby reflecting love’s moral dimension. The journey reaches its zenith in Connection, where love evolves into its most expansive form—agape, highlighting a metaphysical bond that surpasses individual relationships to embrace universal oneness and equality. This progression from personal Attraction to universal Connection highlights the comprehensive nature of love as proposed in metagapism, a theory of everything.

Reflecting on Søren Kierkegaard’s Stages of Life—Aesthetic, Ethical, and Religious—mirrors the phases of the Three Levels of Love. This parallel offers a robust framework for addressing life’s significant questions and intricacies. Understanding the Three Levels of Love equips us with a potent tool to navigate life’s challenges and the universe’s complexities, merging various perspectives into a cohesive and insightful viewpoint. Examining how these levels intertwine from different angles proves invaluable as we explore each level more deeply. This multifaceted perspective clarifies the intricate relationships between Attraction, Submission, and Connection, identifying them as distinct yet integral stages of a journey.

Exploring these dimensions as the following equation helps deepen our understanding of life and strengthens our connection to the world:

Love-Value Equation

There is nothing better or more necessary than love.
St. John of the Cross

Metagapism, shown as M, connects deeply with the essence of existence, or everything, shown as E. The formula,

M = (+x – y = z) = E

helps us understand the universe by looking into the deep layers of love at the heart of everything.

In this equation, +x represents Attraction, inspired by the idea of eros. Eros is the initial spark of love, the pull that brings things together, creating connections that range from close personal bonds to the vastness of the universe. This Attraction is the first crucial step, starting the complex interactions in the formula.

Going beyond Attraction, – y stands for Submission, which ties into philia, or brotherly love. This step moves past the self-centered start of eros, growing into a lasting, selfless type of love. Submission isn’t about losing yourself but about choosing to help and support others, making sacrifices, and changing egos to build stronger connections. This balance ensures that the journey of love is significant, sustainable, and meaningful.

The central equation finishes with = z, which symbolizes Connection, where the noble idea of agape comes to life. Agape is love at its highest: unconditional, all-inclusive, and shared. A stable yet evolving balance is reached through the mix of Attraction and Submission, where relationships become fulfilling and robust. This Connection changes and grows with the shifting forces shaping it, helping love grow and transform.

The equation shows that metagapism—a deep understanding and expression of love—is the core of value and existence. In this philosophy, love goes beyond a feeling to become the fundamental principle guiding its beginnings, nature, and ultimate goal. Love, in all its forms, including the following Paradox of Hierarchy, becomes not just a part of life but the foundational principle of everything. Everything good is good because of the love it contains.

Paradox of Hierarchy

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
Rumi

Life is incomplete until we love on every level. Often, traditional views of love present a paradoxical order. It starts with Attraction (+), which lays the groundwork and pushes us toward higher forms of love. From there, we move to Submission (–), where love grows deeper and becomes selfless. At the apex is Connection (=), the highest point of love, but it’s the result of everything that came before it.

This three-part framework demonstrates the interconnectedness of love’s stages. No single aspect of love is more important than the others. Each stage is a necessary step to the next. Connection stands out not because it’s better but because it brings together Attraction and Submission. You can’t reach the peak of Connection without going into Submission, and you can’t get into the heart of Submission without the spark of Attraction. This interconnectedness enlightens us about the complexity of love, making us appreciate its depth and beauty.

A fulfilling life involves exploring each stage of love and recognizing each level’s unique value and role. Attraction starts things and pushes us toward a more meaningful love. Submission builds on this foundation, driving the relationship to its core potential, where Connection makes it whole. However, it’s crucial to understand that the beauty and depth of Connection come only from the strength and foundation provided by Attraction and Submission.

As we conclude our exploration of the foundational concepts of love, we move into the next chapter, ready to embark on a detailed journey through the levels of love, starting with Attraction. By examining how Attraction adds to love’s complexity, we lay the groundwork for a deeper understanding of the subsequent levels: Submission and Connection. This exploration will thus serve as a robust foundation, guiding us through the more intricate and essential aspects of love that follow.

Soak up the world with every sense,
Release yourself for the sake of others,
Softly realize the sacred connection of everything,
And know that with love, you cannot fail.

Discover More in Love Theory of Everything

The next chapters delve deeper into love’s transformative role in every facet of life, from the personal to the universal. Then, Parts II and III reveal the how and why of everything, uncovering profound truths about the nature of the universe, God, soul, and afterlife.

Take the next step in your journey and discover how love illuminates everything by ordering your copy for as low as $2.99.